Tainted love
by Eljay
Summary: A very dark, unhappy perspective on Goten and Trunks' relationship where Goten has had enough...


Tainted Love  
  
Disclaimer: The song "Tainted love" belongs to Soft Cell & co. and I simply borrowed it for the purposes of this fic. "Boy" has been changed to "Girl" in one line to fit the characters, however. I also own no part of Dragonball Z which belongs to Akira Toriyama, FUNimation, etc. Only the fic is mine, so please don't sue.  
  
Read and Review!  
  
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** Sometimes I feel I've got to  
  
Run away I've got to  
  
Get away  
  
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me **  
  
A dull ache rode on the wings of my mind and I coughed, quickly wiping away the blood before he saw. I closed my eyes to stop the blurring and found some comfort in not being able to see anymore, not being able to see what he was going to do to me now. I turned my head over slowly on the ground and winced when I felt some loose gravel pushing itself into a gash on my cheek. Something snapped in my neck and I took that as a good sign: maybe he didn't break anything this time.  
  
I pushed myself up on a broken wrist and rested my head against a tree. I opened my eyes again and found that the blurring had almost stopped; now everything had a vague shape and colours were starting to come into focus. I examined my arm and saw a mess of red against the frail skin. I blinked twice and waited for my eyesight to come back completely so that I could figure out how bad it was this time. After a few minutes spent drowning in my own misery and blood I mustered up the strength to call out his name.  
  
"Trunks?"  
  
Nothing responded but out of fear I waited anyways, waited for that silky voice to tell me to shut up. I heard nothing and felt a relief overcome my broken soul. He's gone for a while.  
  
Shaking like a leaf, I pushed myself to a standing position, one hand bracing me against the tree, the other pressed onto my face to stop the blood from flowing freely. The last thing I need is to leave him a trail leading to me; I need some time alone to glue together the fragments of my being.  
  
I tried to fly, but couldn't get myself an inch off the ground before falling back down onto the cold earth. So I pulled myself up again and stumbled-fell-tripped my way through the forest until I found a sheltered crevice in the roots of three ancient gnarled oak trees where I could rest.  
  
I collapsed down there and coughed, coughed up all the blood that was blocking my respiratory system so breathing became somewhat easier. By now my vision had corrected itself so I checked myself for any fatal injuries and cleaned myself up best I could with my water bottle and strips of cloth borrowed from my shirt.  
  
I love him. It has never been easy, it isn't easy, and I know that it's never going to be goddamn easy, but I love him and I always will love him. And I know he loves me. He told me he loves me… he shows me how much he loves me.  
  
We're the perfect couple and we have to show it… so I take his hand and smile and joke with his friends, with our parents. I lie to all of them for him… I would do anything for him. Because he loves me and I love him.  
  
I must have fallen asleep there because I woke up near midnight by the sound of a car passing by. Some of my strength had returned, well; at least everything didn't feel like it was broken anymore. So I got up and flew home, crawled into the empty bed and was lost in the dream world.  
  
** The love we share  
  
Seems to go nowhere  
  
And I've lost my light  
  
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night **  
  
I woke up with tears staining the satin pillow and bleary eyes. Just like every night, you find your way into not just my every waking thought, but you twist my dreams to nightmares also. Subconsciously I know that I have to leave, I know that he can't possibly really love me of he does this to me but I also subconsciously know that I'll never be able to force myself to believe it, truth though it is.  
  
But I'll have to if I ever want to see another sunset as a free man, as a man free to feel what I want to feel.  
  
A man free to hate him, because right now I can't, I'm not fucking allowed to.  
  
** Once I ran to you (I ran)  
  
Now I'll run from you  
  
This tainted love you've given  
  
I give you all a girl could give you  
  
Take my tears and that's not nearly all  
  
Oh...tainted love  
  
Tainted love **  
  
I let the tears flow and stain the pillow, needing the release of falling into an abyss of my own misery.  
  
Right now I'm desperate. I need out; however I can get it.  
  
Why don't I kill myself? Because he loves me, and would most certainly wish me back, and punish me for making him look bad in their eyes. I don't think I could survive another punishment… I just barely got out of the last.  
  
That's what I hate; he'll push me right up to the edge but always let me survive. I don't know why, he could certainly find another toy if he wanted to, I mean he's a fucking gorgeous man, and has a fanclub that would die for him if he asked them to.  
  
A fan club I'm tired of being a fucking member of.  
  
But what can I do? He'll follow me into the other dimension if I try to die, he won't leave me alone here.  
  
And I can only blame my heart, because I love him, and it's that damn love that imprisoned me to him in the first place. He loves me, I know he does…or at least he used to. I can very well remember the conversations late into the night with the crickets outside the window when he promised to give me the world should I ask it and those beautiful eyes filed with adoration, all of it just for me.  
  
And oh God, he was always so gentle. I don't think I ever even so much as slightly strained a muscle in bed with with him… strange ironies of life, huh? It was all so perfect, so magical, that I got lost in it and fell hard. Ignorance is bliss, as they say and I was never happier in not knowing that he wanted more.  
  
One day I forced him to tell me. His love had cast a veil over my common sense so I agreed. I'm half-Saiyan, aren't I? I can take a little pain.  
  
Then I found out what I'd forgotten in my haze: Trunks is a strong, ruthless fighter who can't do anything halfway, just like his proud father.  
  
The sound of a door opening alerted me to a presence and I fell into reality with a painful thud.  
  
He's home.  
  
I swallowed back the sobs and squared my jaw. I've had about all I can handle of this bullshit.  
  
** Now I know I've got to  
  
Run away I've got to  
  
Get away  
  
You don't really want any more from me  
  
To make things right **  
  
He needs not love from our relationship; he needs someone to hurt, and I can't take it anymore. He's pushed me right up to the fucking edge and I need out. I'll die without him but I'd rather die a free man than die as his underling.  
  
Game fucking over.  
  
** You need someone to hold you tight  
  
And you think love is to pray  
  
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way **  
  
He entered the bedroom and smiled at me as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Hey, Goten. Tired?"  
  
"I'm leaving, Trunks. I need out."  
  
"But I love you! Goten, we can straighten this mess out. God will help us."  
  
He leaned over and pulled me to him in a seemingly affectionate hug.  
  
"God takes care of lovers, Goten. Come to bed, baby… your body's cold."  
  
I turned around and fixed my gaze on his, determined not to let my voice crack and show him that I still care about him.  
  
"Goddamn you, Trunks. Find another bitch because I'm out of here. And God does take care of lovers, but only the ones that are actually in love."  
  
Something wavered in his gaze but passed over quickly. He ran his fingers down my back and put his warm lips to my ear.  
  
"We can work it out, Goten," he whispered, knowing I was concentrating less on his words and more on the hot breath on my earlobe.  
  
** Don't touch me please  
  
I cannot stand the way you tease  
  
I love you though you hurt me so  
  
Now I'm going to pack my things and go **  
  
So I pushed him, shoved him out of the way and ran, knowing I had nowhere to run to, knowing I hadn't enough to survive on for more than a week in my bag, knowing it was useless but running anyways, simply because I was free, finally free, free from this eternal hell to face another.  
  
But he knew that I'd either crawl back or die alone, and he knew that his voice would haunt me no matter where I ran so he sat down coolly in an armchair and waited, waited for time to bring me back again.  
  
I love him, I thought as I ran blinded by blood and tears. I'll always love him, I thought as I stumbled and fell down the side of the mountain. I always have loved him, I thought as I stated to lose consciousness and fall into a world of black.  
  
And he sat in his armchair with a small smirk playing on his lips as he felt my ki start to fade.  
  
" Easy come, easy lay, easy go," remarked Trunks with a short laugh as he got up to report a suicide to the police.  
  
  
  
** Tainted love, tainted love  
  
Tainted love, tainted love  
  
Touch me baby, tainted love  
  
Touch me baby, tainted love  
  
Tainted love  
  
Tainted love  
  
Tainted love **  
  
  
  
I hope you enjoyed my fic and please review!  
  
-Sapphire 


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